Order vs. Chaos

2024 is said to be the year of when Order finally gets established over Chaos, according to YouTuber and Christian Gavin Dees. It has also been likened to “heaven vs. hell” according to Jordan Peterson, and the concept is often referred to by many philosophers. Order won’t be very surprising it seems, since we have gone through the chaos of COVID, lived through BLM riots, the propaganda around the insurrection, and yet we were able to open our hearts with more compassion to others in this increasingly messy world. Strangely enough, it feels as though time is speeding up and we are able to deal with challenges more gracefully after the COVID agenda and “New World Order” trying to be established by Klaus Schwab.

It is said that we are slowly ascending into 5D reality and that we are living through the “end of days”. Perhaps “Generation Alpha” begins with the first letter of the alphabet for a reason? Are we finally starting the New Age of Aquarius that was predicted by energy workers so long ago?

I used to have nightmares about the end of the world and the apocalypse after attending the kids ministry. Dreams of me dying and my soul evaporating and waking up in my bed. Who knows? Maybe the “Great Fire” or “solar flash” will come sooner than we think.

Schooling

The public school system for kids in LA is 💩

They do their best, but how can multiple choice questions ever evolve a child’s curious brain for solving problems and finding answers through their own ways of thinking? They don’t even have time to think and are instantly being dumbed down extremely by seeing the correct answer without writing it down themselves. Subconsciously they are “entrusting” their answer to that little circular bubble with a pre-written sentence that they HAVE NOT thought about. They never have the chance to doubt the wording of their answer, the conscious choice of writing down a full sentence answer rather than mindlessly filling in bubbles to open their mind! Allowing them to think + begin to solve and find answers on their own.

When you grow into an adult, you are not given tailor-made answers with bubbles to fill in. I’ve tested this system out multiple times in my life and have come to realize how much I’ve been cheated. I earnestly feel like I’ve been robbed of my thinking potential so that now I have a “thinking deficit”. I wait for answers to be spoon-fed, when there aren’t any and I am left to “figure it out for myself”. Thank God I went to University, but still, that engrained neural pathway is forever making itself known (even in college) if I don’t exercise critical thinking everyday.

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind

Due to my temperature mysteriously rising after taking ballet class, I have decided to truly focus more on my body; come early to class, breathe, drink even more water (I don’t know how that’s possible tbh😅), make fresh juices, and most importantly, don’t push myself into achieving smthg that my body is clearly signaling a red light to.

Was it my past “trauma” that’s stuck in my physical being? Or is it based more on a sign to do smthg that makes me truly happy and fills my soul with satisfaction + expansiveness without the necessary support + compliments from others?

Why this Blog?

The purpose of this blog is simply to create a space where I can let my random and paradoxical (sometimes philosophical) thoughts roam free. Similar to a journal, I’ve decided to publish this space as a public domain to allow others to see that they are not alone in their mental health healing journey and provide some tips + advice that I have learned along the way.

Too Fast

I’ve always been a high-achiever. I was accepted into the gifted and talented program at my magnet elementary school and graduated with honors from high-school. My brain works fast.

But sometimes I think it works too fast. I can skip out on words when I’m handwriting and can easily jump to conclusions + assumptions if I’mnot careful. Seems like I have to hold down its reign, stop, and breathe a minute.

A good exercise to slow down an active brain is taking 3 long and deep breaths with the exhale longer than the inhale☝️

Cheers!

The words unspoken

All the words unspoken,

All the “could have beens”

Were just a form of make-believe.

If only I could see,

What really was, in front of me.

I felt it, I knew it,

I just couldn’t find the words.

Like a flame that was extinguished,

A hope that was found and lost.

You were the sun to my moon,

That stopped shining,

Forever eclipsed.

What’s life without love? True love. Is it so hard to find? Or am I just blind?

I don’t want to settle for anyone whose not my soulmate and my heart home. Where it feels like for lifetimes we’ve known each other, and yet, when it magically arrives I get lost. Lost in my thoughts and worries, like a road that I know is there and yet can’t seem to figure out how to turn on the light.

Wind, waves, and cars

Winds of change…

I’ve always been fascinated with symbolism both in dreams, poetry, and books. I feel like they are one of the keys to unlocking another dimension to true reality.

Waves symbolize life changes, a car symbolizes your life, and strong winds symbolize internal or external change. These are just some of the images that often turn up in my dreams.

Smoke is another symbol or “sign” that the angels send to our 3D selves in the form of smelling smoke when there is none; a sign that something is changing in yourself either internally or externally.

Another one is suddenly seeing a feather. I remember clearly seeing a feather on the ground before an important meeting and looking it up later to find that it meant it was a sign that the angels were watching over me.

And that’s another thing, about memory and clarity. Some moments just stick in your mind so clearly that you can’t help but think it a sign from the heavens.

A Delicate Balance

It’s the new moon, the dark side of the moon turning its face to us. I like that idea. The idea of letting go and starting with a new slate every month. The dark side of your subconscious facing you, all your deep doubts, insecurities, floating to the surface up from your subconscious mind, ready to be cleared. The muck, the dirt, the slimy moss that prevents you from seeing clearly.

And then suddenly, you’re able to breathe again. Able to face life and all its challenges because you realize that most of those “challenges” were just imagined.